Here we go, he said, hauling us into a debacle that i never had time for in the first place, screaming, whooping, hollering for freedom that we had lost, trapped in the desperate realities of HIGH school and ground into monotony, fakeness, and eggshells by square white stucco and unarable brittle sidewalk structures, tossed by cold glares and binding contracts of homework – the lion eyes of that icy bitch who bit my hand – trying, reaching, pleading, straining for anything but the smooth brick walls of the shaft of the well we were freefalling down, snapping the few ivy growths and dirt clumps and familiar human globs we scratched at, but all we saw were lion eyes and black, no grey, no white, black black black, reaching back, feeling nothing, seeing black, not thick, not heavy, but transparent black, clear floating black, black from the new moon, black from dilating pupils, black from oil spills on the coast of alaska, black looking back at you, black fingering you in the wrong places, black fiend, black land, black dandelions, black sand, black above and below, and everyone black, and everything black, black along with the wind we created, we were there in that black hole.

I saw fear in those eyes – rotting, yellow, rotten bananas.

I saw many things – objects, directions for a man, gods, destinations and stringy destinities, uncertainty in certainty, impossible decisions, fifteen minutes wasted and hung to dry, an incessant trail, a job for dad, the walking corps of lebanese soldiers on a grave, confused ignorant bastards, musicians humming along with my computer’s fan, songs, sounds, nasal sighs, dental whistles, velcro tears, rigorous shopping producing skin flakes sauntering down into the summertime of teatime, pink flourescent highliter changing the color of my red gap sweater, the sqeek of some chair out there sniffing at me, spreading the good news “oh i’m so cold mr. emo”

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